A heartbroken emo kid tries to videotape his suicide, but life itself prevents him from doing so. In process, he and his roommate get lost at Mt. Shasta woods.
Excerpt, first few pages:
Fade in:
EXT. Chico school of the arts and landscape - Day
Sun rises from mountains. A preppy art school with outdoor cafes and shops. Students walking around the campus.
INT. Gil and Vuk's dorm room - DAY
VUK's wall has pictures of Jessica Alba and Beyonce. Life sketches of nudes.
Decapitated chicken clock clucks. Vuk wakes up, taps the clock and starts singing the opening song from Hairspray. Bad Eastern European accent.
He is wearing polka-dotted PJs with elf hat.
Opens the window, light blasts in the room, and Vuk greets the birds with song and looks at the view.
Noises from his roommate's darker side. Asian emo kid GIL LUU mumbles curses, covers himself and turns to his side. His hair has blonde highlights.
INT. Dormitory HALL Restroom - day
Curtain. Silhouette of Vuk singing while taking bath in a tub, playing with soap and a rubber ducky, jacking off and rubbing himself dry.
He sings while brushing his teeth by the mirror.
INT. Gil and Vuk's dorm room - DAY
Gil's dark side contrasts the earlier mood. Rock lyrics and posters of emo bands on the wall. Paintings that seem to ask: What is the meaning of life?
Gil's closet is full of black sweaters and shirts. On his desk are a laptop and bottles of rainbow dust.
In an artsy garment, Vuk enters, twirls and holds a long note, arms wingspread. Gil turns to the wall.
Vuk
Goood morninguh! Seventy-three degrees with five percent chance of rain today.
GIL
Go away, Vuk.
VUK
In land vhere I grew up ve dance and sing every morning. Come, Gilley-Willie! We dance and sing!
Vuk sings and does a Melbourne shuffle. Gil jumps up and pushes the pillow on Vuk's face.
INT. DORMITORY HALL RESTROOM - DAY
Gil pulls himself to the sink, washes his face and dumbly brushes his teeth. Mirror reflects his frown. Vuk continues singing off-stage.
GIL
I wake up for this? God, if only a meteor would fall on this stupid planet I wouldn’t be in this fucking school.
Gil looks at the scars on his arms and rubs them.
INT. GIL AND Vuk'S DORM ROOM - DAY
Vuk is eating cereal while browsing an Automobile magazine.
Now wearing his emo style, Gil takes a Rockstar from the left side of the fridge. The fridge's right side has dried fruit, pickles, cakes and milk.
GIL
What car do you drive, Vuk?
Vuk
None. My dad does not let me drive. But I vant to drive VL turbo like my cousin in Australia.
GIL
I see.
VUK
Someday I vant car that drive like jet!
Vuk whooshes, hand like a jet. Catapults the spoon and cereal hits Gil's face.
GIL
Gah! My eye!
VUK
Sorry. Vant some Lucky Charms?
Vuk waves the cereal box. Gil wipes his face.
GIL
I hate that stuff.
VUK
You sure? They're made by real leprechauns.
Gil raises a brow.
GIL
I bet you had a great childhood.
Vuk
Yes. Very much so. My family for many generations lived in the country of Nubkekistan, former Yugoslavia. Vhen I was little I used to milk goat and hunt mushrooms everyday. Oh how I miss little cute chickens running around, cluck, cluck, cluck, and how vhen I vas ten I--
Gil takes out his I-phone while Vuk yaps. Plugs his ears. WE SEE Gil's Youtube Vblogs and videos: Diaries of an Angry Emo Kid, Hairstyle Tips, Nothing is Real.
Clicks on Diary. WE HEAR his voice from the Vblog.
GIL (V.O.)
Hello, Youtubers. It's Angry Emo Kid here wanting to let you know how my life sucks as a freshman, in this useless campus. So here I am, making a video while my roommate's away, thank God. I live in this cramped shitty dorm room where it stinks.
I-phone scrolls down to see only 100 views, compared to links of other Asian Youtubers who have millions of views and subscribers.
Gil sighs. Looks at the clock. Five to Ten. Pulls off earphones.
VUK
And I remember dancing with this girl for the first time and vhen she kissed me I pee.
GIL
I should get going.
VUK
Oh vait, Gil. Can I have some hair?
GIL
Say what?
Vuk clips his fingers like scissors.
VUK
I need hair for my art project. Just a few.
Vuk reaches for Gil's bangs. Gil backs away.
GIL
No! Get away from me!
Gil takes his backpack and leaves.
EXT. Chico University Campus Pathway - DAY
Trees. Lawns. Cafes. Gil runs down the path. A group of emo girls are surrounding an emo musician, DAVEY, who sings and plays lead vocals for his band.
INT. Botany classroom - day
The room has around 20-30 students and various plants are on display.
PROFESSOR BABCOCK, an old blond, wearing a red blazer, is speaking in boring monotone, pointing at the screen of flowers.
Professor Babcock
And so, remember that pollen grains migrate to the ovule to fertilize the egg cell and endosperm. This process is called double fertilization. Very important how flowers reproduce.
A BOY 1 whispers to BOY 2 behind him.
BOY 1
This class is tight. I think I'm getting horny.
The boys snicker.
A yawning PUNK with green hair has his foot by the door. Gil enters and stumbles into the room. Laughter.
PROFESSOR BABCOCK
Mr. Luu, we were just reviewing the sexual reproduction of flowering plants.
GIL
Yes. I'm sorry Professor Boobcock--I mean Babclock--Babcock!
Chuckles. Gil pulls himself up and goes to a seat next to Asian emo girl JESSICA.
Jessica
Nice entrance, Gil.
GIL
Don't remind me.
Professor Babcock coughs.
PROFESSOR BABCOCK
Hmm, so where was I? Oh yes, we will be discussing California's wildflowers for next week. I want you to research these specimen, see what they look like, and identify ones which are poisonous and--
Gil holds Jessica's hand and the professor's voice fades to the background.
GIL
Man, Jessica, can't wait for the party tonight.
JESSICA
Uhm, yeah. Me too.
GIL
Anyways, I have some new videos. Check 'em out.
Gil hands her his I-phone. She plugs her earphones.
JESSICA
The heck? What's this...Winter Sonata?
GIL
Oh shoot! I forgot to delete that. My mom loves Korean dramas. She must've saved that when she borrowed my phone.
Gil laughs awkwardly. Jessica raises a brow.
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