Like Blood in Water (Screenplay)

A Chinese American teen falls in love, but is insecure if the girl would love him back.

An Excerpt (The context is that the group is making a video project on Asian American stereotypes):


OLIVER
I have an idea! Why don’t you like
ask her out after this Saturday.

Passes ball.

WAYNE
I dunno, man. She might have plans.

OLIVER
Come on, dude. Have some
confidence. Like, I’m sure she’d
like your adorable personality.

WAYNE
Uh. Okay...You think I’m adorable?

OLIVER
Uh. Don’t tell Dianne I said that.

EXT. COMMONS LAWN AREA - UNIVERSITY - DAY
The team are setting up. Dianne controls the video cam.
Wayne and Samantha are sitting on table.

Paul is dressed as a waiter. Irene has a kimono on.

IRENE
Everyone has their script?

Oliver scratches his head.

OLIVER
Wow. Where’d you two get all this?

IRENE
It was mostly Sammy’s idea.

WAYNE
Yep. Irene and Sam did a pretty
good job compiling all of this.

OLIVER
Hey, I helped out, too!

SAMANTHA
Yeah, right. Just memorize your
script already.

OLIVER
I’m ready! I got Matt Damon inside
me.

DIANNE
Did I hear that right?

PAUL
Man, this is gonna be so bad. I
don’t act.

IRENE
You’ll be fine, Paul. We believe in
you. Just think Jackie Chan.

PAUL
If you say so.

Paul slaps himself awake and does breathing exercises.

PAUL
I’m good.

DIANNE
Everyone ready?

They nod.

DIANNE (CONT’D)
Ok! Restaurant scene, take one.
Paul goes to the table.

PAUL
Herro. Wercom to My Dung
restaulant. Wat you wanta dink?

WAYNE
Excuse me?

PAUL
You wan sumdick you wan sumdink?

SAMANTHA
I’ll have water please.

PAUL
Ah, you wanta wata, okay.

WAYNE
Oh, drink. I’ll have a diet Coke.

PAUL
Okay. You die it Coke.

Paul walks away. Samantha opens the menu.

SAMANTHA
So what’s good in this dump?

WAYNE
Sorry for this place. My mom never
lets me eat anything other than
Vietnamese. She doesn’t even let me
date.

Oliver enters the scene with Irene who looks like a geisha.

IRENE
Please Sir, have a seat. Let me
take off your coat.

OLIVER
This restaurant sucks. Where are my
burgers? Get me a pizza.

IRENE
Yes, Sir. At once.
Dianne moves to and fro. Brings a tray.

OLIVER
This is unsatisfactory! You will
suffer for this insolence!
Oliver pretends to choke Irene.

IRENE
No! No! O, woe is me. Someone
please save me!

Wayne disrobes, jumps out of his seat and does a
mock-martial artist stance, making loud cries like Bruce
Lee.

Oliver points his finger like a gun and shoots Wayne’s head.
Wayne falls. Oliver laughs.

Irene takes out a fake knife and stabs Oliver. He falls.

Irene has the last laugh.

DIANNE
And, cut! Well done guys.